


Paradise is Ultra-Plush, Ugly, and Blue

by jprongs



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol, Baby Harry, F/F, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Godric's Hollow, Minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-15 21:48:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8073952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jprongs/pseuds/jprongs
Summary: The story of how Regulus Black grew to love the Potters' couch: Even though outside of the four of them, there was a war raging on, Regulus couldn’t be entirely too upset. Merlin knew how it happened, but he’d found his place: it was on the left side of the bed near the window because Lily liked to stretch out and be touching both of her men and James slept closest to the door with his wand by his pillow. The thought made him break out into a grin as he closed the freezer door.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Elena prompted me to write Jegulily post-horcrux/cave.

Regulus reached around for his wand, expecting wet stone and instead hitting… ultra-plush pillows? Well, _shite_.  Had the bloody house elf come through in the end? Did Kreacher come back for him? And where had all the pain gone?

“Prongs, mate.” He swore that he could hear his older brother in the distance.

“Yeah, Pads?” Was that _Potter_?

“You want to explain the part where my little brother is on your sofa? Or maybe the part about why he’s wearing _Lily’s_ pyjamas?”

“Oh, yeah. He’s too thin for mine - or, well, he would be if I had any.”

“And the second bit about him, you know, fucking being here?”

Straining quite a bit, Regulus pushed himself onto his elbows. “I’d quite like to know that as well.”

Before anyone could say anything else, there was a blur of red hair pushing through them with a tray. “Oh, thank Circe, you’re awake!” Even with her hair twisted up into a bun with flyaways poking out from every angle and a nasty black eye, her smile was radiant enough to light up their entire room.

“Oi! When I asked you to make me tea earlier, you told me to shove it up my arse!” Sirius threw his hands up while James doubled over laughing.

“He’s a house guest.”

“And what am I?”

“The stray dog who chewed his boyfriend’s best shoes so he’s been chucked out of his own home, so he’s taking up space in mine,” Lily said as she pressed the back of her cool hand to Regulus’ forehead.

“I didn’t chew Remus’ shoes.”

“No, but you did blow his cover on a mission, accuse him of being a traitor, and then knocked over his favourite mug with your overdramatics.” James shrugged, patted Sirius’ head in a very strange manner that Sirius seemed to lean into, and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Does anyone want to tell me what the fuck is happening right now?” Regulus accepted a cuppa from Lily Evans - which was a bit awkward considering the last time he saw her, he’d had his hand around her throat and his wand to her temple.

“There was this cave and a really ugly fucking locket and a load of inferi.” James smiled at him, but all Regulus could think of was slashing his wand through the air and hitting him with the cruciatus curse back in September.

Lily shuddered and set the tray onto the side table. “You were unconscious when James brought you here two nights ago.”

“Did anyone think to tell me that we’d rescued my idiot brother?” Sirius complained and Regulus remembered the hurt in his eyes when Regulus told Sirius that he  was as good as dead in his eyes.

“Why did you rescue me, then?” Regulus took a sip of tea and met James’ gaze.

“Well, for one, you did ask me to.” James ran his eyes over Regulus in a way that made his skin hot and he simply gripped the handle of the mug tighter.

 

“I don’t know what to do with this.” Regulus grimaced and wrinkled his nose.

“You hold him, Reg. He’s just a baby.” James laughed that infectious laugh that made the corners of Regulus’ mouth twitch into an uncontrollable smile. “You hold him and bounce him. He’s a fairly happy baby. Probably thinks you’re Sirius though, so I’d watch he doesn’t yank your hair.”

Regulus nodded and picked up the lip-quivering bundle of soggy nappies and baby babble. “Alright then, little sir.” He sat on the couch and stood Harry on his knees. “Your father is being an obnoxious prat and since he’s hiding me here with you lot out of the goodness of his heart, I’m apparently supposed to occupy you while he makes dinner.”

“Gu!” The tiny poppet squealed and then immediately pleased with himself, stuffed his fingers into his mouth.

“James, how old is he again?”

“A year next month, mate.” James hummed from the kitchen, stirring a large pot of soup.

“Aren’t they supposed to talk by now?”

“He does talk.”

“He calls me ‘ _goo_ ’.”

Snickering, James walked back into the front room. “It’s endearing.”

“Da!” Harry shrieked, craning his neck to still have an eye to search for James before looking back to Regulus.

“When is Lily back again?” Regulus whined, staring into those baby doe-eyed emeralds.

“A few hours. She’s meeting Dumbledore at Hogwarts.”

As Harry reached for Regulus ear, he bit his lip. Was it safe for her to be traveling to Hogwarts with everything he’d learned over the last month and a half?

“You’re fucking adorable when you worry, Reggie.”

Since when did James Potter find him adorable?

 

“Why are you standing there like a twat?” Lily asked, brushing past him on the stairs as she walked down after putting Harry to bed.

“My back is in absolute knots.” Regulus was trying desperately to crack his lower back, but was failing miserably.

“Ask James to crack it.” She mused and led him towards the front room, where James was nodding off on the center cushion of the couch.

“I think it’s that death trap of a sofa.” Regulus cringed at the sight of it. Three months sleeping on the thing was doing a number on him.

“That’s your own fault, love. We’ve asked if you wanted a bed, offered ours, and offered a variety of other solutions.” Lily winked and then shook James awake. “C’mon, dear. Let’s get into bed.”

“M’yeah. S’late idn’t it?” He mumbled and rubbed his eyes.

“It’s about two in the morning.” Regulus patted his arm, preparing to plump the pillows and squeeze himself onto the blue setty of doom.

James stood and stretched. Regulus watched as his long, muscled arms nearly reached the panes of the ceiling fan and his t shirt rode up slightly to expose the trail of hair leading into his joggers.  He was pretty sure that he could feel his breath catch in his throat, so he had to awkwardly look away when Lily wrapped her arms around James. He’d been cooped up with them for far too long.

Now it was time for the nightly staring competition with the sofa. It usually won and Regulus spent the night cursing the bloody thing. No amount of magic could fix it. It was simply a useless piece of upholstery and foam.

“You do realize that you don’t _have_ to sleep on the couch, right?” James clapped a hand on his shoulder. “We could just transfigure you a bed.”

Regulus shrugged and continued to glare at the ugly stale blue sofa that swallowed him whole each night and twisted his body into knots by morning.

“Or you could just get into ours.” James Potter winked and Regulus just wanted to bash his head into the lamp like Kreacher used to. _No, Reg. He’s married. And you’re not gay._ Well, possibly not. The whole thing with the younger Lestrange brother was just a bit of teenage sexual frustration and far too much scotch. Maybe. Lily, on the other hand, was stunning and there was no two ways about it.

“Thanks, mate.” It was all he could say. He was not climbing into the marital bed of a couple that he’d all but sworn off and fairly recently attempted to curse and maim.

 

One hundred and four days didn’t exactly seem like a long time in the grand scheme of things, but in the middle of a war it was relentless. He was stir-crazy, laden with cabin fever, and campaigning for worst mood of the century alongside James - which it was unclear whether he was more upset that he couldn’t be out there fighting with Sirius or just that Sirius was out there fighting without him. Lily was stoic in her attempt to keep it together, but he’d seen her drop to her knees clutching a tea towel just two nights before. Regulus had just held her until she announced her need to put the dishes away surmounted her fear.

If this was unfair on him, it was thrice as unfair on their young family.

And then there was the case of Harry.

Regulus had watched this tiny, little, messy-haired cretin storm castles made of sauce pans, envelope himself in the arms of sullen and discouraged family friends, and bewilder even the most downtrodden of minds with his smile. This screaming, giggling, drooling toddler was his entire heart. How in the fuck did that happen?

And Harry sure loved his... _Gu_.

“It’s my favorite holiday in two weeks, little sir. You know that?” Regulus beamed at him, lying on the floor while Harry stacked blocks on Regulus’ stomach. “Halloween. I used to love the Hogwarts feasts on Halloween.”

Harry grabbed onto the coffee table and stood himself up, babbling on about Merlin knew what.

“Maybe we’ll see if your Mum and Dad would be up for having your godfathers ‘round for a bit, yeah?”

A door slammed upstairs and Regulus winced. Tensions had been running high ever since Sirius had said he was afraid that they couldn’t trust Remus. James had punched him and that was the end of it. Two weeks later and they still hadn’t a word from Remus. He knew both James and Lily were beginning to wonder if Remus was the traitor, or worse. Regulus didn’t believe it. He’d watched from afar and seen the way Remus looked at them, seen how he cared for him, heard the love rolling off his tongue with each word. It _wasn’t_ Remus.

Lily slumped down beside him. “Your turn.”

“I had James duty yesterday. He’s your husband.” Regulus laughed and scooped Harry up as if he was hiding behind him.

“Guuuuu!” Harry squealed and then wrapped his chubby arms around Regulus’ neck.

With a genuine smile, Lily ruffled Harry’s hair and sighed. “You’re so good with him, Reg.”

“Yeah, _now_ I am.” He winked and then blew a raspberry on Harry’s stomach.

She rolled her eyes  and shuffled closer to him.

Honestly, he couldn’t help himself. Her shirt was entirely too low cut not to happen to glance and take a good long look at her cleavage. He hadn’t seen another female other than Minerva McGonagall or Lily Evans in weeks. And no matter what Sirius said, he’d prefer the latter over his brother’s strange obsession with their former Transfiguration professor.

“Regulus Black!” Lily snorted and pulled her shirt up. “You cheeky prat.”

He could feel his cheeks getting hot and he let Harry stumble away to find his stuffed dog. “I’m sorry, Lils.”

She started laughing and then couldn’t seem to stop herself. He cocked a brow and waited, but she lay on her back and kept going, tears forming in the corners of her eyes from how hilarious this all apparently was.

“It’s not funny!” Regulus shoved her playfully.

“What’s not funny?” James came back down the stairs, bags under his eyes and joggers nearly falling off his hips.

Quickly Regulus pushed himself to his feet, and cleared his throat. “Me. I’m bloody hilarious.”

James actually gave a short laugh. “You’re never funny. Really, though.”

Lily grabbed James’ hand and pulled herself up. “Oh, nothing. Reggie just had a bit of a look, that’s all.” She pecked James on the cheek and then chased after Harry to sweep him up and kiss all over his face.

James’ expression turn to stone and Regulus braced himself for a quick knock to the chin.

“James, I…”

Before he could really get an apology of sorts out, James broke into a smirk and pinched his cheek. “I don’t blame you.”

“You don’t? I mean…”

“I can’t say anything. I check your arse out every chance I get.”

It was a strange few hours until Harry was put to bed. Regulus felt the need to stand against something anytime James was in the room out of mild embarrassment because James was making it a point to be over-the-top and far too obvious about looking at Regulus’ backside. Lily had rapped James with a tea towel after a while.

“Reggie, you want one?” James popped his head out of the kitchen and waved a bottle of beer at him.

“Yeah, go on then,” Regulus said absentmindedly.

When James came into the front room with two bottles, Regulus hadn’t expected him to be shirtless. He’d seen James without a t shirt on a hundred times by now, but there was something different this time and Regulus couldn’t stop looking at how his hip bones angled against his muscles to form a V shape.

Regulus accepted the bottle and downed half of it on his first swig. Okay, so he was way too frustrated.

Six beer later and they’d moved onto the whiskey.

“James,” Regulus said, half leaning onto him. “What do you think it going to happen when this is all over?”

James rolled his eyes. “Aw, c’mon! Don’t get sappy drunk on me.”

“No, really!”

“Well I for sure am going to another fucking Puddlemere match before I die, so there’s that.” He finished his glass and then poured more whiskey into both of theirs.

“I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“Go to the match with me, that’s what.”

“You’re just fucked off because Falmouth beat them one hundred and ninety to twenty last week.” Regulus had teased him senselessly ever since they’d listened to the match over the wireless.

James scoffed. “I can’t believe you’re a Falmouth fan.”

“Better than bloody United.”

“Your brother got the better taste in Quidditch.”

“Nah, he fancies Gethin Pritchett. He’s got terrible taste in quidditch!”

“Sirius just likes a man who can handle his balls.”

This sent them both into a fit of laughter which ended in James laying with his head in Regulus’ lap. Without being able to help himself, Regulus ran a hand through James hair. James’ chocolatey eyes flickered up to Regulus’ and when his adam’s apple bobbed, Regulus followed it along his chest and down to that v-shape again.

“She loves you, y’know.” James closed his eyes and wiggled around a bit so that he was more comfortable before resting a palm flat against his own stomach.

“Hmm?” Regulus was still caught up watching James’ body move.

“Lily,” James said simply.

Instead of responding and telling him about his feelings for James’ wife, Regulus took another drink.

“We all do,” James continued, “Harry most of all, obviously.”

“Nah, James, that boy’s entire world revolves around you.”

“You’re a part of that world, Reg.”

_For now._

“Really.”

“In six months when all this is blown over, you won’t be saying that.” Regulus forced a laugh and bit the inside of his lip. In six months he hoped this was all over, but then there would be trials and he would have to answer for his actions and the mark on his forearm that he hid with long sleeves and sweaters. That mark still burned and shot pain into his bones and through his entire body as the Dark Lord tried to find his lost lamb.

“Of course I’ll be saying that, you arse.” James sat up slowly and leaned in closer towards him, cupping Regulus’ cheek.

This was dangerous. Regulus had spent nearly four months kept in this tiny two bedroom cottage in Merlin knew where without any contact from anyone besides his formerly estranged brother, his brother’s werewolf boyfriend, a one year old who was as captivating as he was at risk, and this romance between a muggleborn and a blood traitor that spilled over the edges enough to drown him. And now James bloody Potter was an inch from his face with his stupid hair and his raised brow, following the lines in his lips like he could read something Regulus didn’t even know he was saying.

The thing of it was, falling for Lily had been as easy as breathing. Regulus was almost positive every single person in her life had fallen in love with her and was living solely off of the radiance that echoed through them just by being around her smile. He could see why James had given up everything for a claustrophobic love story with her while a war happened without them and around them.

On the other hand, there was James. James made his palms sweat, his trousers tight, and his mind an absolute mess.  It was moments like this one where just being this close to him set him aflame. And the problem was that Regulus had next to no self control left. It took him feeling James’ half-drunk breath on him to break.

Before he knew what was happening, he’d lost track of where he ended and James began. Maybe it was the alcohol or quite possibly - more likely - it was something that had been building for months. James was intoxicating and Regulus slid his hands down James’ sides as he kissed him.

Just as James’ lips found Regulus’ neck, he opened his eyes to see Lily tiptoeing into the kitchen. When she realized he’d spotted her, she bit her lip. “Well, don’t stop on _my_ account.”

Regulus shoved James off of him and quickly stood, “Lily, I…”

Next to him, James stood as well, winking and out of breath.

“You know, love, if you were gonna go for it, you could’ve at least told me.” Lily flattened her bathrobe over herself and smiled.

“It kinda just happened.” James was acting as if this was just a regular thing to snog the house guest.

“You mean you drank enough to lose what little inhibition you have, James Potter.” She laughed and walked over to James, having to stand on her toes just to kiss him.

“Someone want to explain what’s apparently going on?” Regulus’ lips felt swollen and he didn’t even want to imagine what his hair looked like. But hands on his hips, he tried to do his best to be anything but in awe of them.

Lily approached him first, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him down to kiss her. It was much different than kissing James. She was soft, slow, and filled with both passion and a hint of something very wild. Regulus couldn’t help himself but run his hands up her arms and then to her jaw. She was as fragile as a diamond and Regulus tried to figure her out through the kiss, but was simply left breathless and chasing after her lips when she broke away.

Snickering, James plopped back onto the sofa and threw his arm over the back of it. “I tried to tell you, but you weren’t really listening.”

“Actually, we both did.” Lily cut in, sitting on the other side of the sofa and then grabbing his wrist and pulling him down between them. “I don’t know what we’d do without you, Regulus.”

Swallowing, Regulus leaned back and for once didn’t even consider the couch to be anything but the best fucking piece of furniture he’d ever seen.

 

“Sirius just owled!” James nearly knocked Lily over as he gripped her waist and pulled her into the front room.

“He does that most days, James.” Regulus rolled his eyes, sipping his tea before setting the mug on the coffee table. It was still actually quite cute that his - whatever James was to him - got so excited just about a normal owl from his brother, their brother. Oh Merlin, this was all still so confusing after two weeks.

Lily snatched the letter, narrowing her eyes at James. But then she covered her mouth and searched around before sitting down next to Regulus. “Sirius found Remus-”

“Dumbledore sent him to a bloody werewolf colony! He’d nearly died!” James cried out and kicked the armchair. “Luckily he was able to drag himself to a safe house and they alerted Sirius! It’s insanity! How could he do that?”

“Calm down.” Lily whispered. “At least he’s alright. Where are they now? Do you know? We’ll go there.”

“In hiding. Sirius couldn’t say in a letter. He’s coming ‘round later to give us the full details.” James put his head in his hands. “Is Harry in bed?”

Lily nodded. “I put him down about twenty minutes ago.”

The whole ordeal was one more reason to love Halloween. It proved what he and James had been arguing all along - Remus wasn’t the traitor. Regulus sighed, knowing now they were back to square one.

“Anyone for a drink?” Regulus bit his lip and stood.

“Yes,” Lily and James answered in unison.

Regulus nodded, then took Lily’s hand, planting a kiss on it and winking. As he passed James, he straightened his collar and smiled at him. “He’s safe. That’s the important thing.” As soon as he got a nod from James, Regulus watched as he folded into Lily’s arms before heading into the kitchen to pull the vodka out of the freezer.

Even though outside of the four of them, there was a war raging on, Regulus couldn’t be entirely too upset. Merlin knew how it happened, but he’d found his place: it was on the left side of the bed near the window because Lily liked to stretch out and be touching both of her men and James slept closest to the door with his wand by his pillow. The thought made him break out into a grin as he closed the freezer door.

They were out of lemonade until Sirius brought them more, so Lily would just have to suffice with coke to mix her vodka in like he and James. This wasn’t a night for the few beers they had and the wine had been drank up days ago. Sadly, there wasn’t much else to do but drink and make their own entertainment lately. On the bright side, he’d given them a feast for dinner - even though Harry ate far too many pumpkin pasties.

Juggling three glasses at once wouldn’t go so well for him, so Regulus pulled his wand out of his pocket and floated them back into the front room, having them sit in front of their intended drinkers while his own floated alongside him.

“I hope Sirius comes soon,” Lily mumbled before taking a sip. She wrinkled her nose and then looked over at Regulus.

“You drank all the lemonade, Lils.” Regulus shrugged and drank about half of his at once.

“Happy Halloween.” James downed his vodka and coke and then lay back in between Lily and Regulus.

After a little while, the mood lightened and Regulus and James argued about the weekend’s upcoming quidditch matches while Lily lay across the both of them. Regulus swore that Chudley was going to be out of the run for the championship after playing Holyhead, but James disagreed saying that the seeker was too fresh out of Hogwarts. Regulus knew she’d be fine. He’d played against her enough in his final year to know how good she actually was.

“What was that?” Lily nearly jumped off the couch and looked towards the door.

“What was what?” Regulus stood up beside her and walked towards the door. “You think Sirius is here already?”

James exchanged glances with Regulus and pushed himself to his feet slowly. It had been a while since they’d had a scare. Normally there was always a patronus sent moments before anyone came around.

Regulus inched towards the door, gripping the end of his wand as it poked out of his jeans and slid it out slowly. As he looked through the panes of the window next to the front door his eyes went wide.

Everything seemed to go in slow motion after that.

He turned, wand out and threw every ward he could think of at the door, thrashing his wand as he stumbled backwards.

James turned to Lily and gripped her shoulders. “Lily, take Harry and go! It’s him!” When she looked at him in horror, he shook her slightly. “Go! Run! We’ll hold him off!”

Regulus got back to them, squeezed Lily’s hand onced then nodded. “Go!”

Hands shaking, Lily, who had already fought the dark lord three times and escaped, wasn’t as much afraid of him as she was the prophecy Dumbledore had told her about so many months before. Regulus personally thought Divination was a crock of shite and had no time for it, especially not when Voldemort himself was making house calls. After a deep breath, she seemed to pull herself together and came to terms with leaving behind both James and Regulus.

When she bolted up the stairs, Regulus shot more wards at the stairs and then flattened his back against the wall between the foyer and the front room. James hopped over the back of the couch and snatched his wand from the kitchen table and then stood against the other side of the entryway. They took mirror-like deep breaths and locked eyes, immediately turning and standing shoulder-to-shoulder with their wands at the ready as the door blew open.

The snake-like smile on Voldemort’s face was maniacal as held his wand toward them. Regulus did catch the surprise in his eyes at seeing his former servant defending his once enemy, though. Regulus smiled back in that signature Black sneer.

“It’s a bit rude to just burst down a man’s door without even knocking first.” James decided it was a good idea to use puns right now? If it weren’t life or death, he may have actually slapped him in the back of the head.

“Where is the boy?” Voldemort hissed. His red eyes were scanning the room, as if they would have hid Harry on the top of the bookshelf or something as silly.

“Which one? I know a lot of boys.” James swallowed, but didn’t break his stance.

“I do not have time for your games, James Potter. You have evaded me long enough.”

Regulus heard the crack of apparition from upstairs and the fear left him there. Harry and Lily were safe. That was enough for him.

 

Regulus reached around for his wand, expecting rubble and instead hitting… ultra-plush pillows? Well, _shite_.  Had they actually done it? Had they defeated the dark lord? And where had all the pain gone?

“Prongs, mate.” He swore that he could hear his older brother right above him.

“Yeah, Pads?” _James?_ James was okay. He was alive.

“You want to explain the part where my little brother is passed out on your sofa? Or maybe the part about why there’s a hole in the side of your bloody house?”

**Author's Note:**

> If you read and enjoyed, thanks a ton! Feel free to find me on tumblr: jprongsx


End file.
